One Christmas Down, One To Go

Dateline: 24 December, 2010

Just got back from Christmas at my in-law's and a pleasant time was had by all. My young nephews (Thing 1 and Thing 2) were engaging all evening, polite and friendly, and at the end of the night they looked adorable in their Christmas pj's -- we took pictures, and I will post them when I get them emailed to me, as their mother promised she would. The Things are 2 and 5 this holiday season, a blond and a redhead, and were so busy with Grandma's presents of Thomas the Tank Engine that they never even noticed our boring ol' books and a DVD about airplanes. But I suspect that long after Thomas and his friends get sent to a rummage sale, Dr. Seuss, Mother Goose, and the Wizard of Oz will hang around. I baked up a storm for the adults (strawberry jam, pumpkin and zucchini bread and blueberry muffins, and 4 kinds of cookies) and Fish contributed some clothes for his brother (which bro changed right into, always a good sign!) and some of the little figurines that MIL and now sis collect. All the presents were well received and bro-in-law took the chance when everybody else was in the kitchen to thank me for baking all their stuff from scratch and ensuring that it was nut free -- Thing 1 has a big nut allergy --. Kind of made me wonder about the other people they know, hell, I suffer from allergies, I know what it's like. And it's no skin off my nose, some of the Company have environmental allergies, still others are allergic to citrus and most antibiotics, it's a way of life for me to accommodate. Not to mention me and all my allergies. Do unto others, remember?

Speaking of presents, we had all agreed to only give one present each per adult this year, but Mom-in-law cheated! In addition to giving Fish and I a $500 check (which we will use partly on new glasses for both of us but mostly on a 10'x12' canvas wall tent from these guys, Fall Creek Sutlery: http://fcsutler.com/fccanvas.asp -- the wall tents are about halfway down the page --), MIL also gave Fish his baby book, which I found fascinating (right up until I saw the piece of umbilical cord taped in there, yikes! What a thing to come upon!), and a pair of memorial poly ornaments with his father's birth and death dates and my father-in-law elect's birth and death dates inscribed. They're nicer than that, I just don't know how to describe them, having never seen anything like them before. Fish is more sentimental than most guys so we will hang these right on our tree. MIL is also growing an evergreen in a pot for us as a memorial to Ron, my FIL-elect (he died about 6 months before Fish and I actually had our wedding), and wants us to put this in our yard somewhere this spring. I do not know how I feel about this. For one, there's really no room. Pine trees get HUGE. For secondly, I don't know if I want *that* kind of a memorial in my yard. Ron's memory, at least, as far as I am concerned, does not need to be refreshed, if anything, it's still too painful to really fully embrace right now and the last thing I want is to have to look at it every day. Besides, he would have told her himself to choose something else. Well, maybe by this spring things will have changed, who knows.

I got a lovely bracelet with Connemara marble beads from my sis and bro in law, also a lovely, very classic pearl necklace from Fish. The pearls are fake, but they're damn good fakes, they have the heft and gleam etc of the real deal. The rope is also knotted between each pearl, a nice touch, I thought. It's very Jackie O, and I wholeheartedly agree with his choice. And MIL, in addition to everything else, gave us a KINDLE. She said it was for both of us, but I suspect that Fish will be the one who uses it most. I just have never been interested, having been a Luddite when it comes to new book technology. The old ways are perfectly fine with me, thank you very much! I admit to being suspicious about this new way to read books. But then again, I was suspicious of books on tape and still don't own a single audiobook. That's also because I am really not auditory and don't process auditory information at all, hardly, but still. Books are meant to be printed. On paper.

MIL also cooked dinner entirely on her own, deaf to any offers of help. She always does lobster tails and steak, but her inexperience with steak is obvious -- she's always let her husband do the meat -- and since I grew up with a father who believed (and still believes!) that it's a sin to cook dead cow any harder than 'medium' -- and who passed on his techniques to his daughter as well as his son -- well, I don't mean to be but I am a bit of a steak snob. Had there been steak sauce I would have eaten more of it. Next year I may offer, politely but firmly, to bring a Cesar salad. There wasn't a single blessed green thing on that table. The closest we got to a veggie was baked beans. And coleslaw. Not that I am complaining, necessarily, but after 72 straight hours of cookie baking, I was kind of sick of starchy carbs and some green beans or lettuce or peapods or carrots (or all of the above!) would not have gone amiss. Speaking of which, once I'm through writing this blog, I think I may rummage for some steamed green stuff in the freezer. Because it's 11:30pm, we ate at 6pm, and I frankly, am hungry.

I managed to be social most of the night although once dinner was over I was content to sit in the kitchen by myself and listen to Christmas music, but my MIL insisted that I join them in the living room, so, I did. After tomorrow, I am going to *bury* myself at home and not do a single thing that requires human interaction. I desperately need some alone time. Real alone time. Not alone-but-having-computer-conversations time. Not alone but with hubby in the same room time. Real, honest, *alone* time. It was very hard on my head having to make conversations with strangers for all those excruciating hours on the train. Then having to deal with the Chief Fool's friends, who may in time become my friends too, but for right now, are virtual strangers. Then going back across 3 states for 12 hours with the Fool in her car, with a cat. And then, having less than 36 hours at home before I had to go back and deal with the Fool's sister and mom . . . and the movers . . . oh, my, god . . . . and then 3 days of frantic Christmas prep, and then MORE socialization.

If I don't get some good, thorough alone time soon, I'm not sure what's going to happen. Tonight was good, better than I expected it to go.

Tomorrow, though . . . tomorrow will suck. And I think I will be glad of the chance to curl up in bed with my reassuring blankie (it helps when I feel stressed and vulnerable) by my side and just be me. Without anybody to perform for.

Oh, don't misunderstand. If the Fool needed me again, I'd do it all again without even thinking about which way to jump. That's the kind of relationship we have. But the aftermath -- let's just say it was bad timing. Which we knew, really, but there wasn't any other way.

Anyway, I am glad I had such a good Christmas with my in-laws, because I sure as hell won't have one tomorrow with my parents and brother. Even if I do assign my base criteria -- "If I don't leave crying, it was a good night", I dunno. There are so many mines just waiting to be stepped on, I can't see how to get through an entire night without making at least one mis-step, somewhere along the line.

There's a reason, I think, that the Christmas song "The St. Stephen's Day Murders' resonates with me so much.